And all I can do is stay up all night and not sleep. Which is exactly what I really need right now. My stress is beyond what its ever been right now. Im just at the end of my rope. Im tired of stressing. Im tired of being sad. Im tired of letting depressing thoughts flood my mind every night before I go to sleep. Im tired of depression running my life, period. I am so ready to just lift myself up and be happy. Be satisfied with life. Im ready to wake up, happy to be here. Happy to be a live and go through my day, with no regrets and no worries for tomorrow. But I cant. I never have been able to do that. Im determined this time. I have to be happy. I have to let go of my negativity. I have to fill myself with positivity.
"All we can do is keep breathing."
Thats what I am going to do. Keep breathing. Keep going forward. Keep walking down this life path and stop running away. Stop running away from my problems. Stop running away from things that scare me. I have to allow myself to be happy. I have to want it more than anything. I have to work for it. I finally realize this.
I have to keep going, keeping walking and enjoy the things I have and the people who love me. I have to stop letting my insecurities get the best of me. I have to stop letting them hurt me. I have to face them head on.
I realize this. Maybe this is a new beginning for me. Maybe Ill find what Ive been looking for all along. Maybe Ill find happiness somewhere along the road. As long as I know its there and I keep searching, I will find it. I will be happy. I will find inner peace. I will find freedom in my soul and passion in my heart. As long as I keep saying that and I keep breathing, things will get better.
One day I will blossom into the woman I want to be. One day.